Satire
Covid is smarter than most Millennials

Covid is smarter than most Millennials

COVID IS a clever little thing. For something that struggles to meet the definition of a ‘life-form’, the lab-grown virus certainly manages to show a great deal of discretion when it comes to where and when it strikes. Most viruses are savages. Unkempt, they wander...

James Macpherson: “I am sorry”

James Macpherson: “I am sorry”

I have not yet been cancelled, but I am sure it is only a matter of time before something I said 20 years ago triggers someone today. I have therefore decided to provide this heart-felt and sincere apology in advance of even knowing what it is I will be cancelled for,...

Yellow masks save lives

Yellow masks save lives

Drongo alert: This article may contain traces of satire and sarcasm. Quotes that bear any resemblance to real life should be taken as evidence of how silly things have now become. THE World Health Organisation (WHO) has issued advice that yellow face masks are 99...

Woke Cricket Australia taking on racism

Woke Cricket Australia taking on racism

AUSTRALIAN cricketers proudly announced yesterday that they will begin every game this summer with a barefoot circle ceremony that will not improve even one Aboriginal’s life. A Cricket Australia wokesperson said the empty gesture would serve to signal the team’s...

Adam Bandt’s bold new plan

Adam Bandt’s bold new plan

It was revealed this week that Greens leader Adam Bandt had asked South Korea to impose tariffs on Australian goods as punishment for failure to set appropriate climate targets. If Bandt insists on using foreign governments to help implement his domestic policy...

Adam Bandt’s zero reality policy

Adam Bandt’s zero reality policy

GREENS leader Adam Bandt has outlined his vision to make Australia completely reliant on renewable energy by 2030 in a plan entitled “Zero Emissions, Zero Votes”. The bold plan to return Australia to a medieval period before Australia was even discovered was unveiled...

NEWSPOLL: 62% of Victorians believe pigs might fly

NEWSPOLL: 62% of Victorians believe pigs might fly

A MAJORITY of Victorians think pigs can fly, according to the latest Newspoll published today. Newspoll found 62 per cent of voters believed Premier Daniel Andrews was doing a good job and that pigs could fly, regardless of zero evidence for either proposition. A...

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