I found it. The most ridiculous thing you’ll see all week.

TNL candidate for North Sydney, Victor Kline, filmed himself walking out into Sydney Harbour to complain about the water level which (weirdly) only rose as he trudged further out to sea. This is the same Sydney Harbour famous for maintaining the exact same tidemark for the last two-hundred years.

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Before you laugh too hard, all Kline did was act out the dearly-held beliefs of the Liberals, Labor, Greens, and Teal independents. They are campaigning on the exact same ‘your mansions are going to flood!’ line as Kline, the only difference being that they’re not stupid enough to commit their idiocy to film.

The bizarre homage to António Guterres’ Time magazine cover ended with the TNL candidate appearing to drown. At best, Kline waded into a body of water that disproved his childish apocalyptic rhetoric and then made a campaign ad out of the folly. At worst, he convinced the electorate that he drowned in the name of publicity.

Welcome to the Australian federal election, 2022.

Instead of worrying about the waterline, Kline should have been paying heed to the sharks. Unlike Climate Change, there are plenty of real things with teeth swimming around in the harbour that might see him as a wounded snack in the shallows. He is coming dead last in the seat of North Sydney, failing to beat paper candidates.

In order to show how serious he is about Climate Change, he hired a huge truck to drive around North Sydney with his face painted on it. Not an electric truck – an ordinary truck. According to his logic, Kline’s election campaign is hastening the end times for vanity’s sake. Carbon credits well spent?

Why isn’t a climate luvvie getting traction in a Woke and wealthy seat? His hypocrisy has plenty of competition.

Teal independent and political hopeful for nearby Wentworth, Allegra Spender, showed her commitment to Net Zero by upping the ante and hiring loads of trucks to puff around the streets. Spender then praised the world’s worst environmental vandal – China – for their ‘incredible’ action on carbon emissions. This is the same China whose production of solar panels poisoned rivers so badly with radioactive waste that entire villages had to be evacuated.

‘China has put in last year, in one year, put in more offshore wind than the whole world put together in the last five years,’ Spender said to Sky News Australia. They also built more oil and gas pipelines, freeways, oil refineries, airports, military bases, skyscrapers, and dams than any other nation on Earth. Hidden in the detail, China debt-trapped several poor African nations out of their natural mining resources, which China now mines with imported workers and exports in exchange for a bill dictatorial leaders can’t pay – robbing poor citizens of their natural resources. Xi Jinping’s carbon bill makes Australia look like a rounding error.

TNL (formally ‘The New Liberals’ before the real Liberal Party had a few cross words to say about their party name) is a suspiciously teal-looking, ultra-progressive party loitering around the federal election hoping to snatch a few confused conservative voters. TNL have previously been the home of bored millionaires like former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s son, Alex Turnbull. The fund manager based in Singapore announced that he’d joined the party in August 2021. He since appears to have switched to the ‘we’re totally not a party’ Climate 200 mob run by billionaire Simon Holmes à Court who has been accused by several mainstream publications of seeking to financially profit from climate policy.

TNL are the Liberals Matt Kean, Trent Zimmerman, and Dave Sharma wish the Liberal Party could be – completely and utterly mad. As with those soggy, half-drowned Liberals, TNL have painted themselves as the heroines of a manufactured war against the climate. Reading from their manifesto:

“The defence of the planet is the greatest war we will ever fight, and we will not only provide the foot soldiers, we will also provide the generals.”

Eco-fascism, here we come. Australians should be very careful about politicians framing the climate as a ‘war’. As with Covid, claiming a ‘war’ footing isn’t purely colourful language. A war economy with emergency legislation grants politicians near unlimited power. It is the mechanism by which politicians infringe upon ordinary rights and liberties to satisfy their otherwise unpopular policies. It is the same reason why we hear ‘emergency’ used by climate scammers. This is rhetoric specifically designed to justify the creation of a dictatorial government in the name of ‘the greater good’.

Deconstructing ScoMo

“In government The New Liberals will establish a war cabinet, consisting of the Prime Minister, the Minister for Climate Change, the leader of the opposition, the State Premiers, and representatives from unions and key industry sectors.”

In other words, a cabinet of people who will seek to financially and socially profit off the dissolution of citizen rights.

“We know that our task is daunting. But so was winning the Second World War. We know that things will go wrong, emerging technologies may disappoint, predictions may fail us. But Churchill didn’t say “I hope we won’t surrender”. He said “We will never surrender”.”

If Churchill met such power-hungry psychopathy, he’d declare war on it personally.

The TNL problem is not just a Sydney problem. Samuel Holland is the TNL candidate for the seat of Forde in Queensland. Hidden in his ‘I [heart] the environment’ policy are casual ‘let’s steal from the rich’ socialist catchphrases. Like the Greens, the only way Holland can cost his terrifying dreams is to steal money from successful people.

He does do a good job of painting himself as a ‘conservative independent’ by stating:

“I intend to represent the silent majority who are sick of the Coalition failing to uphold ‘Liberal’ ideals. The mob spit in the face of everything that Robert Menzies’ believed in.”

If Robert Menzies caught sight of these fringe-left, anti-science, anti-reality, pro-foreign billionaire renewables barons and communist sympathisers, he would seek to have them shipped out to the front lines of a real war so that they can get a closer look at their beloved communist idols.

One of Holland’s primary objectives is to guarantee a fortune for the ABC. Propping up the State broadcaster – the propaganda mouth of the Big State – while also pledging to ‘break private media monopolies’ may as well be a declaration to destroy the independent press. We are no longer living in an age where we need the government to dictate the news. Whatever the ABC may have been conceived as, it has become a hard-left political platform that divides its budget between running political advertising for Labor, the Greens, and Teals – and producing original content that is frequently racist, sexist, and unforgivably untalented. In short, TNL want to silence the citizen press, in particular the conservative press, by throwing billions of your money at the ABC so they can insult you.

There’s too much Sky News in this country,’ said Holland in a May 10 tweet. No one has sat him down and explained that Sky News Australia is a voluntary product purchased by individuals. It’s not his decision to decide if there is ‘too much’ of it.

Holland’s dislike of free speech is on full display, with his pinned tweet prohibiting comments. It does, however, have thousands of retweets from bot accounts while his other tweets struggle to get one or two likes. His popularity has reached similar heights on his GoFundMe page, with 35 donations tallying $2,588 with most of them coming from two individuals. Thankfully, science suggests that he’s not much of a threat at this election.

TNL are, however, the perfect theatre production to act out the full-crazy of their neighbouring ‘moderate’ Liberals and ‘let’s decarbonise Australia’ Greens and Teals. Their manifesto is drowning in bad ideas, but the easiest way to describe the level of logic and dishonesty rooted in the TNL is to read Victor Kline’s (failed) defence of the party name. When challenged by the Liberal Party that the name, ‘The New Liberals’ would confuse voters, Kline had this to say:

“We use the word new, and we deliberately use the word, to distinguish us from the Liberal Party. It’s a terrible analogy to use, but you can’t confuse Coke with New Coke, they can’t be the same thing, they can’t be related. The reasonable voter is not going to say that the Liberal Party of Australia and the New Liberals are the same thing, it’s just not credible.”

It is pretty much guaranteed that if Kline tried to sell a product called, ‘New Coke’, Coca-Cola would sue him all the way back into Australia’s shark-infested Sydney Harbour.

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Alexandra Marshall (@ellymelly on social media) is The Good Sauce's Editor-At-Large, as well as the host of "Curtain Call", a Good Sauce show exploring the leading personalities in the culture war. She writes on liberty, philosophy and geopolitics. You can find her on Twitter or read her articles over at her blog.

Elly is also an AI database designer for the retail industry, contributor to multiple online journals and a Young Ambassador with Australians for Constitutional Monarchy.

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