A bad year for Goodyear - James Macpherson

THIS year has been a bad year for Goodyear. 

Up until this year, Goodyear knew what their business was – making tyres. And that’s what they’ve been doing since 1898. 

But 122 years after Frank Sieberling started the iconic tyre brand, Goodyear tired of making tyres and decided to enter the exciting world of virtue signalling. 

Goodyear has operated successfully for more than a century without needing a diversity training seminar.  

For 122 years, blokes have come to the factory, made tyres and gone home.  

Some of the blokes were white and some were black and some were Asian and some were straight and some were gay and some were probably women. But none of that mattered, because they were just making tyres. 

It’s not rocket science. It’s tyres. It’s pretty simple. You fashion bits of rubber into circles that fit easily onto car and truck wheels. And Goodyear have been pretty good at it. Very good in fact.  

But in 2020 the world went made and everything became political, including the wheels on your car. And so the bosses at Goodyear decided they needed to hold a diversity training seminar so that their workers would be more focused on differences whilst trying to work toward a common goal. 

I will never understand why organisations hold diversity training seminars. Diversity training does absolutely nothing to help a company achieve its aims. But it will serve to highlight differences between staff members and so divide them against each other. 

A diversity training seminar excites the social justice warriors on your staff, giving them license to start agitating for their view of utopia in the workplace. And at the same time, it outs everyone else who just wants to make tyres – and doesn’t care for all this ‘woke’ stuff – as dinosaurs and homophobes and racists and whatever.

Before diversity training, they were just blokes making tyres. But now they are part of the problem who need to be re-educated or retired, if you will.

And so it was that Goodyear’s diversity training notes found their way to the media. 

A worker who didn’t like the wokie seminar leaked a powerpoint slide from the diversity training module that listed what was and what was not acceptable at the Goodyear factory. 

Under the heading “Acceptable” was: “Black Lives Matter; Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Tansgender Pride.” 

Under the heading “Unacceptable” was: “Blue Lives Matter; All Lives Matter; MAGA attire and political affiliated slogans or material.

So at Goodyear, if you wear a “Black Lives Matter” shirt while making tyres you’re creating an inclusive workplace, but if you wear an “All Lives Matter” shirt while making tyres, you’re perpetrating hate. 

And you can make tyres for police cars, as Goodyear does, but you can’t make tyres for police cars while saying that police lives matter.

You can promote BLM, a group that advocates for destruction of property, taking other people’s belongings as a form of reparations, killing or maiming of police officers, wide open borders, and the complete upheaval of the social construct. 

And you can promote gay and lesbian and trans pride – which seek to redefine the family, re-write school curriculum and weaponize anti-discrimination law. But you can’t wear a MAGA hat because that’s political. 

So Goodyear will balance your tyres but don’t expect them to balance anything else!

As the employer who leaked the diversity training material said: “If we’re talking about equality, then it needs to be equality. If not, it’s discrimination.” Give that man a noble prize!

The result was Goodyear blimp meets the same fate as the Hindenburg Blimp. The whole thing exploded.

People announced a boycott of Goodyear tyres because Goodyear tyres kept pulling to the left. 

Goodyear spokeswoman Melissa Monaco put out a statement staying … 

“Goodyear is committed to fostering an inclusive and respectful workplace cliché cliché where all of our associates can do their best in a spirit of teamwork.


“As part of this commitment, we do allow our associates to express their yawn support on yawn racial injustice and other equity issues but ask that they refrain from workplace expressions, verbal or otherwise, in support of political campaigning blah blah for any candidate or political party as well as other similar forms of advocacy that fall outside the scope of equity issues.” 

Everyone was a lot happier, not least Goodyear employees, when they were simply making tyres.

James Macpherson is a sought after international speaker with a background in journalism at the Courier Mail and Daily Telegraph. He previously pastored a significant church in Australia and South Africa. James' weekly Good Sauce podcast comes out every Tuesday. He also writes regularly for The Spectator.

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