“MORE THAN HALF of young Australians are putting off having children,” according to an ABC article yesterday. It quotes 29 year-old Sam who says she’s open to having kids, but has to pay off $100,000 uni’ debt and then own her own home before even thinking about it.

“I can’t even afford grated cheese.”

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I don’t mind telling you I think that’s competing for the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

And I can’t relate to it at all, because of my culture.

For me, I had two immediate life goals when I finished school: to get full time work and take full responsibility for myself, and to get married and start a family.

Ten days after my last year twelve exam and long before the graduation, I moved from the middle of New South Wales to Sydney with a job as a plumbing apprentice and boarding with a Christian family who attended the church I wanted to also go to.

It was far from smooth sailing, and without giving you the boring minutiae of my crowded resume, I was never rolling in cash and had to move back home two years later.

I got an apartment with some flatmates after a few months, and started spending a lot of time with a pretty girl I’d taken an interest in during year eleven. Romance developed, and though we were without career prospects and poor as church mice, we got married at age 21.

We quickly moved to Logan, Queensland for better job prospects – there of all places because we had extended family who could help us land softly until we found somewhere to rent and work, and we couldn’t afford to be fussy.

Money was never a consideration when we planned our first baby. Of course you can’t afford to pay for another needy human being for at least the next two decades, and you never will. What a bizarre thing to consider! The global population would be miniscule if the hundreds of generations before us thought that way.

By the time we were 29, we’d finished having kids (helped in that decision by medical advice). We’ve only occassionally had strong income, but habits of frugality replaced an early habit of consumer debt, and we now enjoy a largish if modest lifestyle property with a rural outlook close enough to two major cities.

A career in Christian activism in Australia is more like missionary income than corporate career!

One of my life’s goals is to be fit and strong when my grandkids have kids, because  my Christian culture tells me family is the most important relationship people will ever have, and I want to be a rich source of blessing in the lives and futures of my great grandchildren.

It seems to me that the majority of 18 to 34-year-olds who are so focussed on qualifications, careers, the cost of living and housing affordability have their priorities and source of happiness entirely upside down.

Australian culture has been corrupted by consumerism, and consequently, so has our national future.

The average replacement rate of birth required just to sustain a population is 2.1 children per woman. Australia’s is 1.6. Our population is only growing because of immigration – the radically culture changing inundation of foreigners. This should be alarming for anyone who cares about sustaining our culture for our children’s children.

What kind of self-destructive “advanced” culture thinks its young people are off to a great start if they arrive at their 30s with a $100,000 debt and nothing to show for it but a next-to-useless degree, childless and unable to afford shredded cheese?!

Most sparkies and plumbers are making more than most uni’ graduates, and the scarcity of tradesmen is no small part of the cost of housing crisis in Australia.

The lie that happiness is found in an enormously expensive, framed piece of paper and keeping up with the Joneses is nation-destroying.

The Unlucky Country - Zimmermann & Moens

Young women don’t have a decade (their 20s) to waste on competing with men for career qualifications and achievements. The genders were designed differently, and implicit in design is purpose.

“A woman’s peak reproductive years are between the late teens and late 20s. By age 30, fertility (the ability to get pregnant) starts to decline. This decline happens faster once you reach your mid-30s. By 45, fertility has declined so much that getting pregnant naturally is unlikely.”

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

According to the Harvard Business Review, between 35-50% of all successful career women do not have children by their midlife. The typical high-achieving but childless woman has not made a choice to be barren, but failed to make a choice to be a mother.

The vast majority are desperate to become mothers, and invest enormous amounts of tears, money and effort – even derailing their careers – to undo the damage of the lie that career is more important than family. Mostly, they are too late, because the realisation their priorities were stupid can’t undo the rapidly declining number or quality of their remaining eggs and the difficulties of geriatric pregnancy (that’s 34 or older).

The same HBR article reports:

“The research shows that, generally speaking, the more successful the man, the more likely he will find a spouse and become a father. The opposite holds true for women, and the disparity is particularly striking among corporate ultra-achievers. In fact, 49% of these women are childless.


“The hard fact is that most successful men are not interested in acquiring an ambitious peer as a partner.”

And why would one expect any different?

A man will quite naturally and healthily be attracted to younger women who will complement him, and be more interested in starting a family with him than competing with him.

This is great for society. Character is deeply embedded in future adult citizens in the first 6-7 years of life, and outsourcing that job to “professionals” (strangers) instead of full time mothers is cultural suicide.

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reveals:

“Healthy physical development and emotional support during the first years of life provide building blocks for future social, emotional, cognitive and physical wellbeing. Children from disadvantaged backgrounds are more likely to do poorly at school, affecting adult opportunities for employment, income, health literacy and care, and contributing to intergenerational transmission of disadvantage.”

No one knows your child and what they need better than his or her mother.

How heart-rendingly disastrous is the notion that a woman is “settling” or in some way “limiting” her ambitions or capabilities if she aspires to being a full time home maker, wife and mother.

The very future of the nations’ adults and therefore the nation itself rises and falls with the quality of parenting. Though unsung, devoted mothers are the invisible heroes of strong cultures and healthy nations.

Hard as it might be to hear, it is logically incoherent to suggest a mother, when she is absent from her children for 30-60 waking hours a week, can be as good a mother as if she wasn’t divided in the time devoted to her children.

Someone else is inculcating their values, beliefs and culture into your children when they are away from you. Strangers are duplicating themselves in the next generation of voters, and molding society in a certain direction you have less influence over.

The role of mothers is indispensable and critical, vital to the character, virtue and future of nations.

So how is it wise or healthy, personally or culturally, for a woman to waste her 20s accumulating eye-watering debt for a career which will make her a lesser mother to her children – that’s if she even, somehow, miraculously conceives all the children she and her husband want before she’s 34?

It was a revolutionary idea, celebrated and imposed by the 1917 Bolsheviks and regurgitated by feminists, that marriage is a religious “prison” from which women should be freed to go to work alongside the men in the factories. It perfectly suits the Marxist vision for society.

It was a social disaster then, and over 100 years later, God-mockers have learned nothing from history.

We need a new cultural revolution, one where young people defy the “equality” myths of Marxism and embrace God’s design for men and women.

Get married and have children in your 20s, supported by strong and functional extended families living close together.

Raise and educate your own children – don’t give to strangers or the government who God gave to you and will require an answer of you for.

Make life choices from a place of contentment, not consumerism (or anti-family feminism). Avoid consumer debt and with whatever you have, honour God first, take a lifetime preparing an inheritance to make life a little easier for your children’s children, and be generous with whatever’s left.

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Dave Pellowe is a Christian writer & commentator, founder of The Good Sauce, convener of the annual Australian Church And State Summit and host of Good Sauce's weekly The Church And State Show, also syndicated on ADH TV. Since 2016 Dave has undertaken the mission of arming Christians to influence culture through events from Perth to Auckland, videos, podcasts and articles published in multiple journals across Australia and New Zealand. [more]

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