Scientists have discovered that absolutely everyone on the planet is an immigrant or the descendant of immigrants.

Unless you currently reside in southern Africa (specifically northern Botswana, a bit of Namibia in the west or Zimbabwe in the east) you are the benficiary of your ancestors settling, invading or colonising a bit of the world they were not indigineous to. It’s global history, science says.

The study used DNA sequencing checked against climate and geological data to discover our earliest ancestors. A co-author of the paper from the Garvan insitute, geneticist Vanessa Hayes, explained, “We’ve known for a long time that modern humans originated in Africa, and roughly 200,000 years ago, but what we hadn’t known until this study was where exactly this homeland was.

Obviously this will delight the hardline activists who hate Australia Day, white supremacists like Captain Cook & the First Fleet invaders, as we now know exactly where everyone should go back to. The question of what point in history exactly do we reset the boundaries of nations to, given the constant drawing and redrawing of borders, the rise and fall of tribes and empires, conquest, invasion and annexation, can now be definitively answered by science (not arbitrary, self-serving ideological agendas).

The only objective solution to historical “invasion” is everyone in the world, all 7.7 billion of us, returns to where our ancestors lived 200,000 years ago, in northern Botswana.

Or we could just get on with getting on.

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