Feminists are like that person who reads the book of Proverbs and says, “Nah, I want to learn every single one of these principles the hard way, before I admit I was wrong all along.” But at least they are learning, the dream of having it all, the job, husband, perfect kids and the career, was always a lie.
Whenever someone tells you that you can have it all, they are lying. As, amazingly the Guardian notes,
“Although my job was intellectually demanding, nothing prepared me for how challenging looking after young children can be. It is unlike any other job I have done. The difference is you can do it badly without losing your job.
We’ve moved from it being impossible to have a job if you have children, to the impossibility of not having a job when you have children, and this has been exacerbated by parents in the media and in parliament who have chosen to work and cannot understand why anyone would choose anything else.
The government has demanded that women with young children should work. How long will it be before we recognise the advantages of having young children looked after by a loving, dedicated adult, and how many fewer anxious and depressed teenagers and adults might we have as a result?”
Parenting is one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do in your life, but doing it properly is hard and consistent work. It requires focus, sacrifice, dedication and patience. Putting yourself first, so that your career can flourish, and expecting that your children will also flourish is just not really that possible. Many people will argue with me, and say, “But my kids turned out fine.” But how many of those kids have had therapy, addictions, broken relationships, and serious periods of rebellion. Many. We should not base the way we structure society on the exceptions, but the norm. And the normal kid is severely disadvantaged in life by a mother that works fulltime out of the home, in many different ways.
The basic argument for why women should work and not stay in the home, is that whatever task the woman has at work requires her undivided attention for at least 8-9 hours during the day time, but the women’s own children of far more value and worth, do not need that attention. Which is really backwards. And let’s not kid ourselves, most working women are doing menial work, not world changing research that will change the course of history. This is true for many men as well, but it is the man’s role to provide, it is the women’s role to nurture, and kuds need that nurturing.
Women have been sold a bill of goods when they have been told that they can have it all, with the amazing family at home and the career. This is not how the family home was designed to work. And the results of our society wide experiment of putting so many women into the workforce proves this to be true. Children need their mothers in the home. If you are among those whose children are doing fine without it, imagine what they could be with their mother in the home?
You were told, feminists, you were told. Most women rejected feminism in the 19th century. And most would today if they knew they could. Well, you can. And it is best if you do.
Matthew Littlefield writes to think through some of the current issues facing society, the Church and whatever else comes to mind that might be interesting to process. Matt's focus is usually historical or scriptural, though he will address current issues from time to time as well. He is a co-author of The Ezekiel Declaration and the book, Defending Conscience, How Baptists reminded the Church to defy tyranny. He blogs most days at YoungGospelMinister.blogspot.com.
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