VICTORIAN Premier Daniel Andrews has appointed rugby league commentator Phil Gould as his new communications manager.
The embattled Premier moved quickly to sign up the Channel Nine football analyst after his incredible performance calling last night’s NRL Grand Final.
Gould confounded league fans with his hopelessly biased commentary of the game during which he insisted Penrith was “on top” despite trailing Melbourne 16-0.
It is believed the Victorian Premier hopes Gould will bring the same one-eyed optimism to his new role hosting the government’s daily coronavirus briefings.
Gould, fresh from heaping praise on the grand final loser, said he was looking forward to doing the same for Daniel Andrews.
“I honestly feel Daniel Andrews is on top,” he said.
“If you want to talk about the run of things, I feel like Daniel Andrews is doing better than the virus but the virus has been able to keep infecting and killing people.
“More than 800 people have died, but all the momentum is with Daniel Andrews.”
Gould was unfazed when journalists pointed out the number of people who had lost jobs and who had committed suicide because of harsh lockdowns imposed by the Victorian Government.
“So the lockdown is not as bad as what it obviously feels for Victorians,” Gould said. “The scoreboard is just not friendly.”
Gould later tweeted: “Extraordinary 1st half in Victoria. Hotel quarantine outbreak. Disallowed 12 month extension of emergency powers. Peta Credlin intercept. Young Andrews couldn’t take a trick.”
Social media erupted in anger with many Melbournians questioning Gould’s impartiality.
But Daniel Andrews defended his new communications manager.
“Gus is right. If it wasn’t for that hotel quarantine stuff up and a couple of other stuff ups at the meatworks and with contact tracing and the odd episode of police brutality – and if the virus hadn’t spread – I would be in front.”
Gould, who coached Penrith to their first premiership in 1991 and was Penrith’s head of football until last year, said he wished the club had hired Daniel Andrews to advise them in the lead to the Grand Final.
“If anyone knows how to shut down Melbourne, it’s the Premier,” he said.
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James Macpherson is a sought after international speaker with a background in journalism at the Courier Mail and Daily Telegraph. He previously pastored a significant church in Australia and South Africa. James' weekly Good Sauce podcast comes out every Tuesday. He also writes regularly for The Spectator.